


Vigil

by lankyguy



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode: s01e10 The Moment of Truth, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:38:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9302480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lankyguy/pseuds/lankyguy
Summary: Arthur and Merlin hold vigil over Will's body, and talk during the ride back to Camelot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from my LJ.
> 
> Episode coda. Could have used a brit-check, but it was supposed to be a drabble.

As Will had no family in Ealdor, it fell to Merlin to act as next of kin. He was the one who removed the arrow from Will’s chest, and it was he, who cleaned the body, smearing it with the perfumed oil, and powdering it with herbs.

Doubtless, his mother would have done. Gwen and Morgana likewise might have helped, but this was his task alone. He could feel them at times outside the door to Will’s father’s house, hovering. 

Arthur would even go so far as to walk in. Standing behind Merlin, he would fidget, and finally cough; making Merlin notice that he was there. He would leave satisfied, only to repeat the ritual an hour later.

Merlin wrapped Will’s naked body tightly in a shroud, placing small personal effects in the wrapping as he did. Putting coins on Will’s eyelids, Merlin gave him a good-bye kiss on the forehead before tightly wrapping the head.

Of course, it was not really Will. Merlin could not help but think of it as just a ‘body.’ It was a thing, a corpse. The spirit that had been his friend was long gone.

Finally done, he crumpled into a chair by the table and stared vacantly into space. At some point, he could not remember when, Arthur came and stayed with him, holding vigil together through the night. 

The next day they carried Will’s body out and placed it on the pyre. Arthur wore his battle gear as a sign of respect.

“I'm sorry,” Arthur said, “I know he was a close friend.” 

“He still is,” Merlin agreed. The words were stiff and hollow on his tongue.

“You knew he was a sorcerer, didn't you? That's what you were going to tell me,” Arthur said, not really asking.

“Yes,” Merlin said numbly. “It was.”

“You know how dangerous magic is,” Arthur said in his best formal voice, the one he used for barking orders. “You shouldn't have kept this from me, Merlin.” 

Arthur turned and walked away. He did not really believe Will had been a sorcerer, and he knew Merlin did not either. He refused to think about the other option.

They left immediately for home, Merlin carrying the tabard and mail of Will’s father in his pack.

They camped each night under an unusually clear night sky. Merlin and Arthur lying opposite each other, just as they had back at Ealdor, head to foot. The ground was cold through the blankets, but the fire crackled warmly near them. Both young men stared up at the stars, their minds full.

The girls slept on the opposite side of the fire. 

Merlin however, did not seem able to sleep these past few days, and Arthur was worried. He had barely eaten or said a word since they had left Ealdor. At first, they had all let him alone with his thoughts, but now it was a heavy weight on the group. Arthur could tell Merlin’s thoughts were pressing in on him.

“He was your first,” Arthur broke the silence. “First friend, I mean.

“Yeah,” Merlin said in a smirk. They were the first words they had spoken in a day. It felt odd. Merlin felt removed from Arthur as he had not since he had first arrived in Camelot. 

“You know, we almost didn’t have any choice but to be friends,” Merlin sighed. “We were the only two our age in the village.”

Arthur looked at Merlin, happy to let him say whatever he wanted.

“There were others, children I mean, but most moved on to larger towns, some just didn’t make it.” Merlin’s throat caught. “It’s as you said; it was difficult, but then a lot of children don’t get to grow up. We were lucky.” 

“No girls?” Arthur asked.

“None our age, there were two older girls, but they just liked to beat us up. And before we were really old enough to care about girls they got married and moved off.” The words came a lot easier now.

“I wondered why Will didn’t have a wife. I mean I thought people in the country got married young.”

Merlin grimaced, and looked at Arthur for a long moment. There was big town snobbery in that comment that quite put him off, whatever its basis in truth. 

There was another long silence. Arthur was dimly aware that he probably should not have made that last remark, but it was done, and there was no taking it back. Best move on, he thought.

“Merlin, we ride into Camelot tomorrow,” Arthur lumbered in to it.

“I know.”

“If there’s anything you want to tell me, anything you need to do, now is the time to do it, while we aren’t under my father’s law.” Arthur hoped his tone sounded dire enough. There was something troubling Merlin, he knew. Arthur did not really believe Will’s deathbed confession, but he had little choice, he had to honour it publicly.

“Anything I want to tell you,” Merlin said. “You mean like ‘you’re a real prat sometimes’?”

“Merlin,” Arthur scolded. “I’m serious.” For God’s sake Merlin, just tell me! I will not hold it against you, I promise! Arthur shouted inside.

“There is something I’ve been meaning to do,” Merlin said seriously.

Now were getting somewhere, Arthur thought.

“All right, let’s have it.” Arthur said.

“Promise you won’t be angry.”

“Yes, Merlin, I promise,” Arthur droned mechanically. Honestly, it’s like talking to a child, he thought.

“All right then here goes,” Merlin said, sitting up. He leaned over Arthur as if to whisper something. Suddenly he lifted the front of Arthur’s shirt, exposing his belly. Merlin pressed his lips firmly against the bare abdomen, and exhaling forcefully, blew hot air. It made his lips and Arthur’s belly vibrate in a loud farting sound.

Arthur clenched up and began laughing. 

“Stop it Merlin! Stop it!” Arthur cried out, pushing Merlin’s head away.

“There, you had that coming,” Merlin said seriously, “I bet it’s a long time since anyone has done that to you.”

“I don’t think anyone has ever done that to me,” Arthur said, trying to compose himself into a semblance of princely dignity.

“You needed it, ” Melin said lying back down.

“I don’t think anyone needs that. Who does that?”

“All people do, mothers and fathers do it to babies, and young children all the time.” People do it to lovers, Merlin added silently, and friends. 

“Oh,” Arthur mouthed. He was unable to imagine his father, Uther Pendragon, ever doing that to him, even as a baby. 

Merlin was thinking of Will and Arthur. The terms jumbled together in his mind, friends and lovers, just as they jumbled together in life.

“Anything else?” Arthur added an emphatic ‘anything’ in the front of his mind, willing Merlin to listen. Surely, with those ears, he thought, you can hear what I’m thinking.

“No,” Merlin added sadly. There was too much to risk for both of them. Arthur might feel obligated to say something to his father and then where would they be? Bound together as they were, Merlin knew he had to keep silent for now.

Then I have to assume there’s nothing to say, Arthur thought, and go on ‘as if.’

Absently Arthur reached over and traced a route around the edge of one of Merlin’s teacup ears with his finger. Merlin turned his head into Arthur's hand, nuzzling it, and they both drifted off to sleep.


End file.
